Hurting Flowers

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Hurting Flowers (Excerpt from An American Millennial)

2010

By Garrett Larson

It’s almost like a supernatural distance that is there and real, but it goes unseen by the eye. Sometimes I don’t feel like talking to people. They don’t understand a lot of my process the past few years. I guess I don’t either. I know my goals – but that is sometimes all I know when I wake up. Knowing your goals is kind of a huge deal in and of itself. You have to keep in mind that you need to run your own race and there are different seasons of life and some days hurt and some days have flowers you did not expect. It can be hard because you find yourself just kind of sitting there and you feel alone. Maybe you are alone. We all know that you can sit in a room full of people and feel alone too. Even if it’s just your close friends and or family. You can feel that way for some reason. I really am being stripped down and I am not sure why, but I am. God is with me and I feel Him there or know He is there and sometimes He is distant. That is faith. Having faith that He is there, even though we do not see Him and always feel His presence. It’s hard though. The disciples were with Him around the clock during his ministry and witnessed miracles. They really did not need the type of faith we need now.

© 2019 All rights reserved.

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Rock Bottom? Clearing the Deck? Seasons of Change? A Few Life Lessons from 2016/Early 2017

Rock bottom = not the worst place to be? Yep. I am sure everyone has felt like that, time to time. Even just one bad day can make you feel like you are there, even for a moment in time. I believe it is true – that it is not the worst place to be! You can become fearless because you ain’t got anything to lose! But – you have to realize that! Bam. Hehe.

Clearing the deck – God was like huh, uh – you need people around you that will encourage and inspire you to do your best work – and not push you to fit into this world. There is a big difference! No? People come and go. Why? Is it bad if they go?

Seasons of change and love/non-love – feeling a deep sense of love for people – even acquaintances or new contacts, in a way I never have before. Why? I think God opened my heart more, which can bring floods or joy … AND pain! Yep. But, I think He wants me to get a feel for how He sees people and how big His love is – even when people – me, you, all of us – can be uneasy to love – at least at times.

Feelings of disposable-ness – ha. What is that? Well … feeling disposable – I imagine that is how God feels, at times – with people that will not even look for him, for even a moment. You know, just to check into things. … :/ It is a bad feeling. 😦

Tears can be your friend. We always hide them, why? Tears are a built-in cleansing system, designed by God, to assist us. You know how you just feel better after you cry something out. Yep. Just release them/the issue you are upset about. You know. … 🙂

Can you/we be more loving? Can you lend a hand to someone you know? Let’s make this world not so ugly – shall we?

Love,

garrett/baby g

P.S. 🙂

Had to call in about a credit card today – the automated voice was like – “if you and your spouse would … ”

I’m like: screw u! What spouse?
Lmao 😎😎😎😒😒😒🙃🙃🙃😱😱😱😱

Let’s just make the best of drama? I texted some friends and made fun of myself. Sort of. 🙂 #love

Part Two! Millennials are Aging! Now What?? LOL.

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Part One: Millennials Are Aging! Being 31 and Now What? … Thoughts and Revelations on Life So Far. … (Part I)

Where I Have Been (Various Facts/Thoughts/Observations) about being 31 LOL:

I am friends with many baby boomers (LOL), and people ten plus years older than me … I never expected that! It is great.

I have lived … um and all over the United States.

I lived in Airbnbs all over the United States. LOL. (AirBnB)

I am 32 and have no spouse and no kids

I don’t work a typical 8 to 5 right now.

I am self-employed and just kind of make things work.

I spent years in the specialty food industry.

I write books and make art. I am not an architect with a wife. LOL.

I work on my projects at cafes and coffee shops a lot!

I feel the need to share my faith and my deep love for people, while many times feeling mistreated or dismissed in general, for whatever reason.

I never expected to feel like I don’t fit in, well anywhere. I do know this is not a permanent home, and that helps a lot … knowing that. And I do not mean acting like fitting in, feeling like I or you do in a real way. You know. …

I am not comfortable a lot of times about a lot of things. BUT, faith not one of those things.

I feel confident in my faith, like stone strong bam. But in other things, not a lot.

Not always feeling financially secure and having to really pray and think about God and what He wants, and not making decisions with money being the first factor. Making it a lower or non-priority. Everyone has bills, sure. You know what I mean.

It was scary, everything. But it isn’t really anymore. God always has me.

I feel like my faith is all I really care about, but not really into the highly organized religion world.

I feel like so much is going on with current events and the world, and people are too busy making money or distracting themselves from unhappiness that they do not notice or care about real and important things.

I have a set of friends that are all over the country with so many different backgrounds. I love and appreciate you all!

I do not have endless “real” friends overall, and not just in one city.

I realize what it means to grow up, and that it is more about growing with God and not about finding some sort of mythical/perfect 8 to 5 job and having a life that looks “normal.”

I have actually tried online dating after swearing I never would. LOL.

I feel bought and sold often and realize that money is really the goal for many.

I’m learning that judging is a waste of time and not my job.

I feel love for people and strangers and new acquaintances from a place that feels pure and not self-serving.

I realize how imperfect I am and how much I need Jesus.

I know what aging feels like, and well, my back hurts! LOL.

Outro/Final Thoughts/Tips:

One thing is certain, join God’s side, and you are in for an amazing and wild ride. The Bible-based Jesus will not always FEEL safe, NO. Although we are with God and safe, ultimately. No, you will not always feel happy, but a wonderful and sometimes mysterious underlying joy persists, usually day to day.

No, you will not always know what to do. But knowing you want to work with God and help people find Him gives you a massive sense of fulfillment.

No, you will not always be loved or feel loved by people. We are in the world, NOT OF IT. Grow up. Life is tough y’all! I had to grow up, and I still am. BUT God helps us grow. It will be OK, OK? 🙂

No, we will not always “fear not.” Actually, when you put yourself out there for God and try to make a difference, you will probably be beaten up a lot by fear. We are human. It happens. Pray and “fear not.” It gets a lot easier.

Seek God, and He will reveal Himself more and more. SO TRUE. And so AMAZING! You have to do your own seeking, though! AND digging and learning! Please try it. It has made my life so remarkable and unreal. It is far from perfect and unreal in positive and negative ways but interesting, yes! Day to day I do not always think that. But looking back, looking at seeds being planted is truly amazing, knowing how God has changed me and how things do happen and can change.

And YES, it was all worth it!

Prayers and LOVE!

Baby g/garrett/Garrett Larson 🙂

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Edited by: Marjorie Roberson  * Thank you 🙂

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                  Like this article? Feel free to share it on social media! Thanks!

                  Note: A special thanks to my people! Thank you for being there for me! You know who you are! LOL.

Into books from Garrett? Check here!: https://garrettlarson.info/books/

 

Millennials Are Aging! Being 31 and Now What? … Thoughts and Revelations on Life So Far. … (Part I)

 

Millennials Are Aging! Being 31 and Now What? … Thoughts and Revelations on Life So Far. … (Part I)

by Garrett Larson

A scene from The Office has always stuck with me – a child asks Michael Scott: “Did you become who you wanted to be?” (“Take Your Daughter to Work Day,” Season Two) Ouch! That is a loaded question, right? In work, love, family, and society in general – wow! And ouch. Especially as a millennial, LOL, but yes! More on that later.

I have been wanting to finish this article for several months … and wanting to reboot my website … I figured I should finish it now since I am almost 32, and it is about being 31! 🙂  I feel like my life is nothing I expected it to be – for better or worse. But mostly for the better, in a wild west sort of way. … What I somewhat expected when I was like, I don’t know, eleven, so twenty years ago:

Architect dude

Married/family dude

Kids

Living in a large-ish city like San Diego

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Realizations About Life and Related:

Realizing my generation (millennials) is so confused it is scary – it has been a strange time to come of age.

Realizing how much grace people really do have.

Realizing the kindness of strangers is real and remarkable!

Realizing that having just one true friend is priceless and wonderful. Laughter can be so pure.

Pain is real; heartache is real.

Realizing relationships and sexuality can be confusing and difficult. Especially these days! Guess what? God has us! It really is OK! We are all OK when we look to Him. Yes.

Realizing gray areas exist everywhere. You tell me?

Realizing a lot of people you thought would be there for you won’t be or aren’t.

Realizing you can do a whole lot with God on your side. And in unexpected ways!

Success does not and should not be seen in financial ways. Money is not bad, but it is a tool. Running down cash can get destructive. …

Realizing money and evil often go hand-in-hand. Blinding comes to mind. People being blinded by cash.

Realizing forgiveness is a real … realizing grace is amazing.

Realizing that when I turned 30, I just lost a whole lot of fear in that season, not on the birthday. It was sudden though.

Realizing I don’t have much interest in fitting into this world and that is amazing and so freeing.

Realizing problems and concerns can cause anxiety. There are not magic fixes for most issues. They need to be worked through, not covered and concealed by X, Y, or Z cover.

Realizing how many people have allowed their hearts to harden. (Don’t let that happen!)

Realizing what it is like to feel like a true outcast, a lot. And that is OK. God said it would happen so. … “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.” (John 15:19 KJV)

Realizing I used to think I knew it all in high school. Now the more I study and learn, the more know how much I don’t know! Ha.

Realizing I do not fit into a typical box, and that is OK!

I have seen a lot and met many people from traveling around the country on my own and with my previous job. It was a lot. People are so vibrant and amazing though!

Life can be sort of strange and amazing, right?

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Goals for 32:

Complain less. Appreciate more. I think God allows lemons because we need to learn to make lemonade, or just learn … something like that. … We have lessons to learn, and they turn out benefiting us somehow, someway. …

Take better care of myself – healthier diet and workout more (I had a bad ankle injury this spring) :/

Connect more – connect with people that want to accomplish great things and move forward in a positive way!

Goal set!

Continue to attempt to not let money make decisions for me. Pray first.

Focus on people and goals, not money. … AND yeah we need money – but there is a difference in it being the goal and being a tool! 🙂

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Life now has taken my breath away … positively and negatively. In-flux in a lot of ways. LOL. I have been planting seeds, so that seems good. … Where do you find yourself in life? Are you going in the direction you wanted in the past or want to be going now? It is never too late to make changes!

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Part two coming soon! It will include:

Where I Have Been (Various Facts/Thoughts)

Outro/Final Thoughts/Tips

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 Thanks! Prayers and LOVE!

 Baby g/garrett/Garrett Larson 🙂

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Edited by: Marjorie Roberson  * Thank you 🙂

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Like this article? Feel free to share it on social media! Thanks!

Note: A special thanks to my people! Thank you for being there for me! You know who you are! LOL.

Into books from Garrett? Check here!: https://garrettlarson.info/books/

‘Big Eyes’ Film Notes/Review – Oh My Word!!! A+

This is my favorite film I have seen in years, possibly since Revolutionary Road … possibly better! (More on Rev Road in an upcoming blog!) AND Rev Road is my favorite film of the past ten years or so. I was not sure what to expect with this film: Big Eyes. I had been interested in seeing it when it was released/ it caught my eyes. 🙂 It was only natural: artistic, mysterious, and so on. …

So I kept getting drawn in, more and more. There is something to it. Something about well … all of it! And the ending is a must see moment! Wow – how empowering! How turbulent! How wonderful! It drew me in and and my interest level went on and on and up. … The acting is outrageously believable! Amy Adams nailed the last scene to no end! And has a Golden Globe to show for it. Bam.

Trailer (dumbs it down a bit – it is truly amazing and through-provoking!):

(Note: – not just for people interested in art – I see it appealing to anyone interesting in questioning the world around them! Which I believe is everyone to varying degrees!)

Notes/ observations:

Based on a TRUE story

Highly unique

Has to due with identity

Losing yourself to a spouse

Paving your own way

Success

Failure

Fame

Fortune

Lies

Deceit

Family

Non-family

Very complex/ yet simple

Business dealings

A friend who see though – to the truth – of you – and they care

Ethics

Unethical dealings to get larger checks

Critics/ gatekeepers

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I have enjoyed the songs from Lana Del Rey, now even more. One is sad, the other is hopeful – of course I enjoy them both 🙂

Stay tuned for blog Part II on “Big Eyes.” I have some research to do!

One scene reminded me of my time traveling – during and “post” the Great Recession. My thoughts:

It was raw

It was true

I saw people

I saw the destruction

In people’s eyes

They knew something was off, even wrong

But most just could not put their finger on it. …

Can you?

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I rented via redbox … Amazon links here:

Amazon Movie Link

tags:

#bigeyes #art #lanadelrey #amyadams #fineart #moviereivew #film #topfilm 🙂

Film Review: ‘St. Vincent’ = Wow Wow Oh My!!

Unexpected!

Sad.

Uplifting and inspiring!

All within two hours!

Must see film of 2014! Centers on a theme of community and building from your local people and neighborhood – grow where you are planted – I head that somewhere. This film is marketed as a dark comedy. Check. So it is funny-ish, dark-ish, but inspiring and emotional as well. I am hard to please these days, but this did the trick for me – and on the day I needed it. 🙂

‘Blue Jasmine’ – Film Notes

Blue Jasmine moves along quickly and alternates between the present and past via flashback scenes. Overall, bravo! The end may leave your mind spinning 🙂 Cate Blanchett, WOW! How did any actress pull this role off??  Best film I have seen all year…

Uncomfortable questions and concepts the film may have you considering … Continue reading “‘Blue Jasmine’ – Film Notes”